We have a baby!

Everything happened so fast it was hard to update the blog.  Not that I'm very good at it anyway but here goes.  We have a baby boy! He was born in Arizona and his birth mother pretty much stepped away and didn't look back.  He was born preemie and was in the NICU for about 2 weeks.  We were stuck in a hotel in Arizona waiting for our paperwork to go through for what seemed like forever.  But we made it home and things are going OK.  It happened so fast there was definitely an adjustment period but I think we're doing Allright for the moment.  He goes in for his 2 month check up next week and his first round of shots so that will be fun.  Update more soon, sorry for this being so short but I am very tired. 

Ciao

Nothing New Yet

Just wanted to do a quick post about where we're at right now. So far, we are just waiting on the social worker who came and did our home inspection to write our Home Study report. This where she has many glowing things to say about us and what wonderful parents we'll make.  Like, duh. We're awesome.

Once the "Farley Report of Awesomeness" is written a copy will be sent to our placement agency where, all goes well, we will become active again.   What that means is that they will start showing our profile to expectant mothers/families as an option.  Yay!  Since we are now back in the States we're hoping that it won't be as long of a wait as before. There was a situation where we were the expectant mother's first pick but we couldn't guarantee that we could keep up with yearly visits. She lives in Tucson, which is only a 6-7 hour drive from here in Vegas.  Doing a yearly visit from here while we're still in Vegas would be no problem whatsoever. Unfortunately we do not know where we will be in 2 years once David retires.  We could be on the East coast or Overseas and couldn't commit to doing yearly visits.  She decided she wasn't comfortable with that and that's OK.  She wanted to be a part of her baby's life and we had no way of committing to that without the possibility plans may fall through.  Just like with anything else in life, Under promise and over deliver.

Some days I wonder if I'm too old and set in my ways to go through with this.  It doesn't seem like a 34 and 36 year old should be getting in to the parenting game on the ground floor.  I've been questioning lately whether I'll even make a good mom.  I know, I know, EVERYONE feels that way before they become parents. Blah Blah Blah.  That doesn't make it any easier.

So that's about all for now. I really need to get to bed.

Toodles.

Finally!

After MUCH procrastination and paperwork we are in the home stretch.  The social worker came and did the home visit last week and all went well.  She'll be writing the complete home study next week so we should have it completed soon.  The last hurdle has been jumped!

Delays and Procrastinations

I have no excuses. We should have had our home study done 2 months ago.  I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe I feel that it's just delaying the inevitable fact that this won't happen for us.  For some reason I've pretty much given up hope of having this warm little bundle in my arms that's all mine and I just can't make myself rush towards that inevitability.  I know I shouldn't be so pessimistic but with the way the last few months have gone for us I can't help but be a little blue about this process.  I should start reading more books to get myself more excited. In the mean time I will focus on work and possibly obtaining my masters degree.

Hopefully I'll have more news soon.

Long Overdue Update

I know it's been so long since I've posted and I'm sorry.  Since my last post there has been some unfortunate family situations that needed my attention far more.  Good news is that, for now, things are looking up and we're steaming forward.  I've set myself a deadline of Valentine's Day to get all the paperwork done and in to the agency doing our home study.  We've procrastinated long enough and it's time to get moving.  So far, we are looking good to be on track.  Once the home study process is finally over with we'll be back on the active list with our adoption agency.  The only small bump in the road is that we may have to move this summer.  Our lease runs out in the next month and we may only be able to extend it to June.  In that event we're already looking at homes to buy so that we can start the process now, if we have to.  The hubs is supposed to call our land lord and find out for sure how long we can extend our lease.

I'm just hoping that now we're back in the States it won't take so long for this to go through.  My wish is that we have our little one by Christmas at the latest but I know that just may be a pipe dream.  I'm still keeping my fingers crossed though.

Fingerprints? Check.

We both got our fingerprint cards done today.  Woohoo! That took us way too long to get done but it's over with now.  Now on to other time intensive stuff with the home study.  I just hope we get done soon so we can have that little one in our arms sooner rather than later.  I am so ready for this to happen.  Soon.

Moving Along

So we're slowly getting all of our paperwork into the agency doing our home study.  It's starting to take shape and move forward. Now we just have to dedicate a few hours this weekend to doing more of the paperwork :)

Things are good here. I'm starting to get excited at the prospect of actually completing an adoption in the near future, or at least what I hope will be in the near future. If all goes well we should be active by October or November.  It all depends on how fast our background checks come back.  It's definitely starting to gel together.  I've been putting a list together of what we need to do to get the house ready for the inspection so that at least gives me something to focus on other than the paperwork. I'm going to want to get the carpets cleaned and get rid of the nasty sectional upstairs.  Those are the 2 major things so far.  Other than that, it's just play it by ear.

Other than that I can't wait for it to be cooler again. We're going up to Utah for my brother-in-law's wedding in a few weeks and I hoping we'll get a break in the heat, at least a little bit! :)  I do miss the Fall though. It is my favorite time of year so I think I'll miss that the most living out here but I'm sure I'll get used to it.  That's all the news that is the news for now. Hope you're all having a wonderful day!

Adoption Symbol

 

I found this image on the internet today.  It's supposedly one of many symbols of adoption (among lady bugs dragon flies and the Chinese invisible red string).  The triangle is supposed to represent the triad between birth family, adoptee and the adoptive family.  Of course, the heart represents the love shared by them all.  I'd love to think that this would be an accurate representation of the adoption process.  I've had so many thoughts, reservations and suspicions about how I'm going to handle an open adoption. I am learning to have faith and trust that everything will work out for the best.  One of my biggest down falls is my need to know how everything will work out.  It's probably a good thing I can't see into the future because I would probably spend all of my time there instead of living in the present.  If I could just have a peek at what my future holds I would be so ecstatic; just so I know that everything turns out all right.

Back In the Saddle Again . . .

After a long hiatus, we are back in the groove of the adoption process.  We had to put things on hold for several months because David's career in the USAF was in limbo (through no fault of his own) and we wanted to see how things would shake out before we jumped back in to everything.  We didn't want to be without an income all of a sudden and trying to figure out how that would affect our home study.  But, as of June, we are safe and are ready to move forward with the process.

Other than that, there's not a whole lot of news on the adoption front. David and I are here in Las Vegas and not enjoying the heat. :) It's definitely something to get used to but we have air conditioning and I think we're coping pretty well.  I definitely don't like going to the Strip, at all.  It's loud, obnoxious, superficial, expensive and only good in small doses.  I mostly stick to home and work and any other small places in between here and there.  We've discovered Roberto's Taco Shop and oh Mylanta it's amazing. Really authentic tasting Mexican food.  It's what I was missing for 4 years in Germany so I am eating it up every chance I get!  I'll keep you posted with any new developments.

Names?

At what point do you start picking out names for a baby? Like most parents (until at least their 20 week appointment anyway) we are clueless as to what gender we will be blessed with.  I have a few name ideas picked out for either gender, some the hubs is on board with, some not but I can't make myself to commit to one. With an open adoption, some birth mothers want input on the name and have their own ideas concerning that whole process.  Do we have to keep the name the birth mother picked out? Are we horrible if we change the name once the adoption is finalized and we are listed as the parents on the birth certificate? What happens if we don't like the name she picked out? I'm completely at a loss as to how to navigate this tricky, tricky path. Depending on how this adoption process goes, we may not decide to do another one; what if one shot is all I get? I don't want to make the birth mother feel insignificant or that she doesn't have a place in the child's life (because she will be a huge part), but I also long to do what every natural parent does. 

I've come to the conclusion with this, and many other aspects of the adoption, that it will be very hard for me to give up as much control as I will be forced to do.  Understandably the process needs to be comfortable for both parties but it's hard determine where that line will be.  I can only hope that the birth mother that finally picks us will mesh with our personalities and we'll mutually find the right way for all people involved.  That would be my wish. 

Waiting and Waiting

So, no surprise here . . .  we're still waiting.  Some days it seems like we went through all this intense work and paid out a lot of money to wait for a call that will never come.  Is that normal? I'm constantly tied to my cell phone "just in case" and the emails get checked constantly.  Whenever it buzzes or makes the notification sound I pounce on it like a rabid monkey, I swear.  However, in the back of my mind, I have this voice nagging at me that it doesn't matter because no one is going to call anyway.  We're not the first picks on anyone's list so why not just leave everything behind for a weekend and not worry about missing a call or message.  Our adoption agency made very sure to inform us that if we cannot be reached when someone has picked us then they will move on to the next couple.  And that is fair.  I totally agree with that as it's not fair to all of the other waiting couples or to the birth mother who is going through one of the hardest decisions of her life.  However, I'm just not convinced I'll ever be the first choice to be called.  We've been active with our agency for about 10 months now, it will be a year in October and not a whole lot has changed.  We've expanded our profile to include children of African American descent where we hadn't before.  The hubs said he was either growing up or "gave less of a shit" than he did previously so we made the change last month.  While neither of us are even remotely racist, I think he was having a hard time figuring out how he was going to handle the ramifications of what our child could go through if they are that much different from us.  He is such a caring and empathetic person that I know he would be heart broken and angry at the same time if someone was telling his child he/she was not meant to be with our family, or that they were too different, or whatever else mean things kids say these days.   We are both ready to be parents though and it's hard waiting.  We have our impending move the States looming close, closer than I would like, and I'm hoping things go smoothly and we're able to get settled in to a house quickly when we get to Las Vegas.  Our adoption specialist says that our profile is getting great exposure and that it will only improve when we get stateside.  I understand that people are hesitant about placing children with military overseas, but it still bums me out.  My mom is convinced it could happen this year because my little sister had a baby about a month ago and we tend to do major things in the same year.  I'm keeping myself cautiously optimistic I guess.  It  would be nice but I can't see it happening right away. 

Anyway, that's all the news for now. I just needed to get some thoughts out before I went a bit bonkers.  Things will come together, I just have to have faith and patience.  2 things I'm usually lacking. :)

Planning Is Hard

Planning for a baby during an open adoption is very tricky.  You want to be prepared for when you finally get the call, but you also don't want to go all out with clothes, furniture and decoration.  At least I don't.  The problem is that with the move coming up and the unknown of when we'll be able to come home with a baby makes me hesitant to put a nursery together.  In our mounds of agency paperwork we've had to read through, they mention that some people prefer to get the nursery done and set up while having all the clothes, bottles, diapers, wipes, etc. that one would need right away. For some people it's just to hard to see an empty nursery so they prefer to wait until they are matched.  I'm kind of in between.  I have a few clothes that are washed and will work while we are in the states for a few days.  I have some wipes, oil and baby wash (thanks to my sister) and a few other things.  We have a crib, but no mattress.  I psycho planner in me would like to have everything ready to go at the drop of a hat, but I'm just to hesitant.  I keep telling myself it's because when we get to Las Vegas it will be easier to set up a nursery/baby room/whatever.  That's utter crap. Many women set up their nurseries from here by using several different methods (e.g. what you can't find at the BX you find on the economy or online.)

Once we get Stateside it will be a little bit easier, I think, to be able to set things up and get some stuff ready to go.  We'll be living in a rental house until we find a house we want to buy.  So even until then I may not go crazy with decorating a bed room, but we'll see. I'd like to think I'd spruce it up at least a little bit but sometimes I have these grand ideas and then when it comes to execution I'm like, "Hmm, that's a lot of work." LOL.

Other than that, things are going well.  I've sent off our fingerprints to the FBI for analysis.  I've got my physical report done and now we're waiting on David's.  I think those and the fingerprints are the last things we'll need to do as far as updating paperwork.  In a few months I'll have to contact an agency in Las Vegas that will help us start a new home study for when when we move.  I'm hoping it's not another 40 page questionnaire to fill out but I'm sure it will be.

Updated Paperwork Is A Drag!

Since it's been a year since we've started our paperwork process, it's time to redo them all! Some states require documents that are current within 1 year so we are back at the grind doing fingerprints, background checks and medical visits.  It's time consuming and a hassle but it has to be done.  I'm hoping that once we get to Las Vegas things will start to pick up.  Oh, and if this is the first time you're reading this, we're going to Las Vegas! :) The hubs got his assignment last month and we will be PCSing to Nevada sometime in October as it stands right now. Our adoption agency seems to think that things might pick up for us in regards to profile exposure when we get stateside so here's hoping! :)

Anyway, it's been a while and I'm horrible about this but I just wanted to do a quick update. We're still hanging in there and keeping our spirits high that it will happen soon.  Thanks for all your continued support and warm thoughts!  One day soon, we'll have our long awaited for little one in our arms ♥

Impending Move

We are scheduled to leave Germany by October and as of yet we don't know where we'll be going next.  The overseas listings should be out next month and we're hoping to get Italy.  I'd really like to think that our chances are increased by the fact we're already here in Europe so it would be cheaper to move us from Germany to Italy than back to the States. That's the prevailing theory anyways.  It all remains to be seen whether there will actually be a spot open in Italy for David to fill.  If we don't know by March then we'll see what comes out on the Stateside listing released in April.  If we do go back Stateside I really hope we get to go back to Mountain Home.  I know, we were already there, but it's the closest base to our family and it would be awesome for when we finally get to have our kiddo. Especially since my sister is pregnant and due in July, the babies won't be that far apart in age.  At least that's what I'm hoping.  If everything falls in to place like I want it to, we'd be matched by March, baby due in May/June time frame, adoption finalized by the time we leave or shortly after we get home.  I know that's hoping for an awful lot and it's probably not going to happen that way, but I can dream, can't I? Just like I can dream that we'll go to Italy, spend another 3 years over here making awesome memories with our child and eating a metric ton of fan-freaking-tastic pasta.  It's the small things in life, ya know? :)

Anyway, as you can probably guess, nothing much has changed.  We are still waiting.  There was an email last month regarding a birth mother but everything was so far outside our budget that we couldn't make work.  Other than that, no real news on the adoption front.  As soon as there is though, I'll keep you posted.  As soon as I know where we'll be going next I'll make a post about that one too.  I'm guessing that one will be first :)

The Waiting Game

It's been almost 2 months since we've gone active with our agency.  So far, nothing has changed.  We are still going about our daily lives and planning for the future.  On the 26th of this month we're going to London for about 5 days.  I am very excited about this trip.  We hope to meet up with some friends that live over in England for at least a day and that should prove to be very entertaining. Other trips we have sort of planned is a long weekend snowboard trip for the Hubs.  Basically, that means he'll get to be on the mountain all day for a few days whilst I get to relax in a nice hotel room and possibly avail myself of the local shopping establishments.  :-) Nothing has been set in stone with that one but I'm really looking forward to it because when we go on our trips we never just get to relax and have a down day. My parents are coming out in April and that's something I'm really looking forward to. We have some ideas in mind about taking a trip down the coast starting in Amsterdam and I think it sounds like loads of fun.

So, for right now we're just going about our daily lives.  Some days I do wish the phone would ring but I know that it's going to take some time.  I've learned to be quite patient during this whole process so now I just have to keep up the good work.  There really is no news other than that but I did want to check in and let people know that we're still alive and that things are going well.  I hope you all have a Happy Holiday season!!

We Are Active!

I'm very excited to announce we are now officially active with our adoption agency.  It has taken us 5 months and many sheets of paper, lots of time, and even more sleepless nights to get us here but we finally made it over one giant hurdle.  I wanted to say thank you to everyone for your support and kind words, they have meant so much to us!

If you want to look at our profile, you can click here and it will take you directly to our page.  I do want to ask if you know someone who is thinking about adoption as an option for them, direct them to our agency. You don't have to mention us, but I know that our agency will make anyone wanting to create an adoption plan welcome and supported and will do everything they can to make the process as easy as possible.  They have been extremely helpful and profession and I'm glad we've chosen them for this experience.

Almost there!

Last Friday we sent off our notarized Activation Agreement and the activation fee to the agency!! Huge, huge step in the process.  This means that, once the agency receives everything, we will be active within 24 hours and our profile will be shown to perspective birth parents.  We are done with paperwork, emails, and everything else for a while.  Now comes the waiting part, which I am horrible at.  But the holidays are coming up so that means I will be busy cooking, baking and planning Christmas.  I'm guessing that should keep me occupied for a few months.  I told myself I wouldn't start getting antsy or concerned until at least June and I want to make that a true statement! My parents are coming over for my birthday next year and then my best friend will be over in May so I'll have a lot to look forward to and many plans to make.

Thank you for all the support and kind words that have come our way.   It means so much knowing that we have an awesome support group with all of our friends and family.  We are so incredibly excited for whatever the future holds! 

Quick Update

Ok party peoples, here's the current low down on our adoption progress. As of now all we are waiting on is a media specialist at the adoption agency to finish putting together our family profile. That's it.  Our home study is complete and has been reviewed by the agency.  The video profile has been done and turned in to be created.  All of the paperwork, questionnaire's and mindless other annoying but necessary tasks have been completed.  Within the next few weeks we should be Active with our agency!

I've had a lot of questions about this, mostly from people I work with, but I'll explain the whole process of being active here so that people get an idea of what we're talking about.  When we signed on with our agency we had to fill out a questionnaire about our basic family life (religion, school background, jobs, etc) along with answering questions about what type of race we are willing to adopt, substance use by the mother and her medical history.  Now, when a woman is considering adoption and she makes an adoption plan with our agency she fills out a similar questionnaire.  She'll select things like, "Wants a Christian family" or she only wants to be shown families who currently don't have children or things of that nature. Basically, we both put down what we're looking for and based on our answers, if they are compatible, the adoption agency will show our profile to the perspective birth mother.  If she likes us, we'll schedule a meeting.  Or if she flat out chooses us, then we'll get notified by the agency and will be given all of the pertinent info and are asked if we accept.  It's very much like a match making service bringing two people together.  I think it's a very wonderful way of ensuring both sides are happy with the decision and it gives us both a chance to hopefully be as informed about each other as possible.

With all that being said, we are only weeks away from our profile being shown to perspective parents.  We could be getting a phone call soon after we are active, or it may come several months down the line.  But the point is that we are infinitely more closer to achieving our  goal of becoming parents.  I have started to make a list of what I want to have ready to go when we do get the call. I want to have a bag all packed for the baby that includes at least clothes that have been washed, diapers wipes and bottles.  This weekend I want to go look at baby furniture to get that all set and ready to go.

Other than that, we're just trucking along.  I'll post again when we're active and with any other updates. :)

Love,
Sammee

Family Profile

So as a quick update we are very close to getting our family profile completed.  All we have to do is the video profile portion this week before we send back the video camera and then as long as the media specialists don't need anything else, we're done submitting stuff.  Once the profile is put together and approved by us then we'll be able to active our profile and we'll be shown to potential birth families. I can't believe it's finally coming together.  It seems so surreal that I'm actual close to acheiving my goal.  When I was visiting my in-laws this weekend we went to the Cracker Barrel for breakfast and I found a little boys sock monkey outfit that was so adorable I just had to buy it.  The cool thing is that it can be used for either boy or girl so it will work no matter what we get :). My mother-in-law said she can't wait to have a grand baby to spoil so I'm glad we're finally able to tell, it won't be much longer until we're just waiting on a phone call.  My best friend thinks we'll be matched by Christmas but that's too ambitious for me to hope that it will work out that way. 

Other than that, there's no other major news to report. We're visiting my family this month so I'll be using this time to soak in the time with my nephew and my mom and dad and enjoy filming all the glorious stuff that I miss so much. 

An Update

Hello everyone, sorry it's been so long since I updated.  Here's where we're at:

I am submitting the photos for our family profile this week.  Finally!!  I have been procrastinating at this for a long time and now I'm just going to get it done.  Hopefully I chose pictures that put David and me in a good light and will entice someone to seriously consider our family.

We are also about to get our video profile equipment as well.  Once that comes in the mail we'll be able to take the footage for a video that will go on our family's profile online as well as YouTube.  They post it on YouTube so that any woman who is considering adoption but doesn't want to make the commitment to an agency can browse through videos and see if she finds a family she likes.  We're going to make it as spectacular as we can!

Additionally I had to rush and gather a whole bunch of paperwork this evening to send to our adoption agency. That was fun awful.  For some reason I assumed our home study agency would be sending the information for us but apparently that wasn't the case.  Oh well, I got all the documents so it's done and over with.

Other than that everything is good and on track.  Hopefully we'll be all settled and ready to go by next month.  If not, by October.  And then it's just waiting on phone call! :) Wahoo!!

I'll keep you posted as much as possible.