Long Overdue Update

I know it's been so long since I've posted and I'm sorry.  Since my last post there has been some unfortunate family situations that needed my attention far more.  Good news is that, for now, things are looking up and we're steaming forward.  I've set myself a deadline of Valentine's Day to get all the paperwork done and in to the agency doing our home study.  We've procrastinated long enough and it's time to get moving.  So far, we are looking good to be on track.  Once the home study process is finally over with we'll be back on the active list with our adoption agency.  The only small bump in the road is that we may have to move this summer.  Our lease runs out in the next month and we may only be able to extend it to June.  In that event we're already looking at homes to buy so that we can start the process now, if we have to.  The hubs is supposed to call our land lord and find out for sure how long we can extend our lease.

I'm just hoping that now we're back in the States it won't take so long for this to go through.  My wish is that we have our little one by Christmas at the latest but I know that just may be a pipe dream.  I'm still keeping my fingers crossed though.

Fingerprints? Check.

We both got our fingerprint cards done today.  Woohoo! That took us way too long to get done but it's over with now.  Now on to other time intensive stuff with the home study.  I just hope we get done soon so we can have that little one in our arms sooner rather than later.  I am so ready for this to happen.  Soon.

Moving Along

So we're slowly getting all of our paperwork into the agency doing our home study.  It's starting to take shape and move forward. Now we just have to dedicate a few hours this weekend to doing more of the paperwork :)

Things are good here. I'm starting to get excited at the prospect of actually completing an adoption in the near future, or at least what I hope will be in the near future. If all goes well we should be active by October or November.  It all depends on how fast our background checks come back.  It's definitely starting to gel together.  I've been putting a list together of what we need to do to get the house ready for the inspection so that at least gives me something to focus on other than the paperwork. I'm going to want to get the carpets cleaned and get rid of the nasty sectional upstairs.  Those are the 2 major things so far.  Other than that, it's just play it by ear.

Other than that I can't wait for it to be cooler again. We're going up to Utah for my brother-in-law's wedding in a few weeks and I hoping we'll get a break in the heat, at least a little bit! :)  I do miss the Fall though. It is my favorite time of year so I think I'll miss that the most living out here but I'm sure I'll get used to it.  That's all the news that is the news for now. Hope you're all having a wonderful day!

Adoption Symbol

 

I found this image on the internet today.  It's supposedly one of many symbols of adoption (among lady bugs dragon flies and the Chinese invisible red string).  The triangle is supposed to represent the triad between birth family, adoptee and the adoptive family.  Of course, the heart represents the love shared by them all.  I'd love to think that this would be an accurate representation of the adoption process.  I've had so many thoughts, reservations and suspicions about how I'm going to handle an open adoption. I am learning to have faith and trust that everything will work out for the best.  One of my biggest down falls is my need to know how everything will work out.  It's probably a good thing I can't see into the future because I would probably spend all of my time there instead of living in the present.  If I could just have a peek at what my future holds I would be so ecstatic; just so I know that everything turns out all right.

Back In the Saddle Again . . .

After a long hiatus, we are back in the groove of the adoption process.  We had to put things on hold for several months because David's career in the USAF was in limbo (through no fault of his own) and we wanted to see how things would shake out before we jumped back in to everything.  We didn't want to be without an income all of a sudden and trying to figure out how that would affect our home study.  But, as of June, we are safe and are ready to move forward with the process.

Other than that, there's not a whole lot of news on the adoption front. David and I are here in Las Vegas and not enjoying the heat. :) It's definitely something to get used to but we have air conditioning and I think we're coping pretty well.  I definitely don't like going to the Strip, at all.  It's loud, obnoxious, superficial, expensive and only good in small doses.  I mostly stick to home and work and any other small places in between here and there.  We've discovered Roberto's Taco Shop and oh Mylanta it's amazing. Really authentic tasting Mexican food.  It's what I was missing for 4 years in Germany so I am eating it up every chance I get!  I'll keep you posted with any new developments.

Names?

At what point do you start picking out names for a baby? Like most parents (until at least their 20 week appointment anyway) we are clueless as to what gender we will be blessed with.  I have a few name ideas picked out for either gender, some the hubs is on board with, some not but I can't make myself to commit to one. With an open adoption, some birth mothers want input on the name and have their own ideas concerning that whole process.  Do we have to keep the name the birth mother picked out? Are we horrible if we change the name once the adoption is finalized and we are listed as the parents on the birth certificate? What happens if we don't like the name she picked out? I'm completely at a loss as to how to navigate this tricky, tricky path. Depending on how this adoption process goes, we may not decide to do another one; what if one shot is all I get? I don't want to make the birth mother feel insignificant or that she doesn't have a place in the child's life (because she will be a huge part), but I also long to do what every natural parent does. 

I've come to the conclusion with this, and many other aspects of the adoption, that it will be very hard for me to give up as much control as I will be forced to do.  Understandably the process needs to be comfortable for both parties but it's hard determine where that line will be.  I can only hope that the birth mother that finally picks us will mesh with our personalities and we'll mutually find the right way for all people involved.  That would be my wish. 

Waiting and Waiting

So, no surprise here . . .  we're still waiting.  Some days it seems like we went through all this intense work and paid out a lot of money to wait for a call that will never come.  Is that normal? I'm constantly tied to my cell phone "just in case" and the emails get checked constantly.  Whenever it buzzes or makes the notification sound I pounce on it like a rabid monkey, I swear.  However, in the back of my mind, I have this voice nagging at me that it doesn't matter because no one is going to call anyway.  We're not the first picks on anyone's list so why not just leave everything behind for a weekend and not worry about missing a call or message.  Our adoption agency made very sure to inform us that if we cannot be reached when someone has picked us then they will move on to the next couple.  And that is fair.  I totally agree with that as it's not fair to all of the other waiting couples or to the birth mother who is going through one of the hardest decisions of her life.  However, I'm just not convinced I'll ever be the first choice to be called.  We've been active with our agency for about 10 months now, it will be a year in October and not a whole lot has changed.  We've expanded our profile to include children of African American descent where we hadn't before.  The hubs said he was either growing up or "gave less of a shit" than he did previously so we made the change last month.  While neither of us are even remotely racist, I think he was having a hard time figuring out how he was going to handle the ramifications of what our child could go through if they are that much different from us.  He is such a caring and empathetic person that I know he would be heart broken and angry at the same time if someone was telling his child he/she was not meant to be with our family, or that they were too different, or whatever else mean things kids say these days.   We are both ready to be parents though and it's hard waiting.  We have our impending move the States looming close, closer than I would like, and I'm hoping things go smoothly and we're able to get settled in to a house quickly when we get to Las Vegas.  Our adoption specialist says that our profile is getting great exposure and that it will only improve when we get stateside.  I understand that people are hesitant about placing children with military overseas, but it still bums me out.  My mom is convinced it could happen this year because my little sister had a baby about a month ago and we tend to do major things in the same year.  I'm keeping myself cautiously optimistic I guess.  It  would be nice but I can't see it happening right away. 

Anyway, that's all the news for now. I just needed to get some thoughts out before I went a bit bonkers.  Things will come together, I just have to have faith and patience.  2 things I'm usually lacking. :)