Names?

At what point do you start picking out names for a baby? Like most parents (until at least their 20 week appointment anyway) we are clueless as to what gender we will be blessed with.  I have a few name ideas picked out for either gender, some the hubs is on board with, some not but I can't make myself to commit to one. With an open adoption, some birth mothers want input on the name and have their own ideas concerning that whole process.  Do we have to keep the name the birth mother picked out? Are we horrible if we change the name once the adoption is finalized and we are listed as the parents on the birth certificate? What happens if we don't like the name she picked out? I'm completely at a loss as to how to navigate this tricky, tricky path. Depending on how this adoption process goes, we may not decide to do another one; what if one shot is all I get? I don't want to make the birth mother feel insignificant or that she doesn't have a place in the child's life (because she will be a huge part), but I also long to do what every natural parent does. 

I've come to the conclusion with this, and many other aspects of the adoption, that it will be very hard for me to give up as much control as I will be forced to do.  Understandably the process needs to be comfortable for both parties but it's hard determine where that line will be.  I can only hope that the birth mother that finally picks us will mesh with our personalities and we'll mutually find the right way for all people involved.  That would be my wish.